Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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