you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
