# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
