Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
