the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
