She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think a kid would responsible me up
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
