well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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