His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
