If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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