Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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