What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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