Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
