Come see our sink grown plant.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
