I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
