i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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