Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
