the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
