the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Everclear isn't food dammit
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
