I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
