Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
