So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
