I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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