I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
