Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
