this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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