Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
