i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
