38 yer olds are good kisserssss
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
that may or may not have been my penis.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
