So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
