I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
