good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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