how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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