i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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