Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
