She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I did not marry a roomba.
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