Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
