one might say we're banned from that church
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
