no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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