Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
