you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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