How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
