Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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