planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
