He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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