she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
