Duck Duck Cougar?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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