The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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