i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
