I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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