dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Every concussion has its silver lining
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
