at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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