So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
